Main Stage Murders
Premise— Trouble ensues when the main stage actors clash with members of the murder mystery troupe.
The show is somewhat of a sequel to the The Troupe web series.
Characters—Some old…some refreshed…some new.
Ben Barker- Director of the troupe. Firm but fair. Sometimes becomes visibly flustered by unexpected developments. Frustrated by the current state of affairs at the Eastern Guild Playhouse.
Lacey Watson-Davies- MILF. Exudes presence and appeal. A bit of a “diva,” although she’d never admit it. She has excelled in the group’s murder mystery productions. Also…she still can turn heads without really trying. She’s addicted to her iPhone.
Bobby Barrymore- An “ACTOR” in the troupe. A bit narcissistic. A real “theatre person” for better or worse. Speaks in a deep, put-on voice (which sometimes inadvertently drops out) Projects a high opinion of himself, but is actually quite shy and insecure. He engages in an ongoing rivalry with Lacey.
Clark Clerk- Nerdy, be-speckled clerk by day, faux-macho “actor” by night. Somewhat nervous in real life. Brow-beaten by the women with whom he works. Brings excellent comic quality to his roles. Generally unlucky in love. Usually pragmatic and centered but will become variably extreme to impress a woman of interest.
Al Spuddlesnug- The Yummycake delivery man for the Deli next door to the theatre. After divorcing his abusive wife, he appeared to have found eternal happiness with deli worker Pamela Puttermunch. All seemed well until Pamela inadvertently locked herself in the deli freezer over Easter weekend. Al was devastated. Pamela’s frozen body became a local tourist attraction for several days, until she melted all over the parking lot. Al has been in a deep funk ever since…often losing emotional control. As a tribute to Pamela he perpetually nibbles on Yummycake cupcakes all day…every day. He is a recent graduate of the Hoboken School of Criminal Arts.
Special Agent Uma Patchouli- FBI operative who cracked the local Curtainsville corruption web, leading to the incarceration of town detective, Dick Duntuquik and Melinda Spuddlesnug ( Yummycake Al’s ex-wife.) She’s a bad-ass who takes no prisoners. Totally oblivious to affairs of the heart, she has ignored and unwittingly shattered the romantic advances of both Bobby Barrymore and Lacey Watson-Davies. Although Uma still works for “the agency,” Ben has convinced her to join the troupe for the next murder mystery.
Alexis Collins - Mysterious and somewhat soft-spoken. Tends to portray paranoid characteristics....sometimes to an extreme. Will only reveal her day job as “government.” Has been featured as an action character in recent murder mysteries…taking advantage of her expert martial arts skills. Although she is the perfect femme fatale type.she’s been relegated to a relatively minor role in this year’s show. She's a bit put off about that.
Stuart Swahvay- Imposing leading man in the main stage productions at the Eastern Guild Playhouse. He places himself above the fray… not outwardly like Bobby…but inwardly self-absorbed. Also, he’s a bit of a hypochondriac—-many aches and pains, the details of which he’s happy to share with anyone who will listen.
Pricilla Princely- Soprano extraordinaire with an extensive theatrical resume. Show Boat, Candide and The Pirates of Penzance are just a few of her triumphs (at least according to her.) For the past 10 years she’s been a main-stay in the leading roles at Eastern Guild. Her beautiful singing voice is undeniable, but her acting may leave a bit to be desired. She’s often cast opposite Stuart, on whom she’s developed a not-so-secret crush…seemingly undetected by her husband, Marco.
Marco Minicochio- Another regular on the main stage. Fashions himself an operatic basso, but comes across as a light-in-the-loafers male soprano. Apparent cuckold husband of Pricilla.
Sonja Sour-Cuntfurter- President of the New Jersey State Council on the Arts. Head-up-her-ass bureaucrat who delights in brokering political favors. Rumored to have been recently discovered under the desk of State Senator Salvator Scrotumucho, where she allegedly provided personalized servicing to his protruding legislative agenda.
A dispute over rehearsal time flares out of control between the main stage musical Blossom Time cast members and the actors in the upcoming murder mystery, Murder In Black And White. Ben Barker, who is directing both productions, becomes flustered and frustrated when he is unable to broker a reasonable compromise. The here-to-fore unspoken rivalry becomes outwardly belligerent.
The theatre, having applied for a state grant, becomes the subject of a surprise visit from Sonja Sour-Cuntfurter, the President of The New Jersey Council on the Arts. She is clearly a corrupt politician, as well as, highly promiscuous. She covertly promises state funding in exchange for sexual favors from members of the troupe. Even after engaging in her sexual arbitration…she insists the theatre come up with a totally innovative project in order to secure her funding. Ben, in the height of his frustration, agrees to adapting Murder In Black And White as an opera….which would necessarily involve actors from both contingents of the theatre. Nobody…and I mean nobody…thinks this is a good idea with the exception of Sonja, who’s developed a special affection for Ben. Because the financial future of the Eastern Guild Playhouse is dependent on it, everyone reluctantly agrees to participate. Water and oil.